I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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