Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
