Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
