I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
do herpes really smell.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
