That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
