i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
