My liver just broke up with me...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
did you just send me my own nude
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
