he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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