Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
