3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
