seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
