Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
