I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
