I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
