i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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