she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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