There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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