Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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