the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
