i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
