so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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