I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
