Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
