Pappa wants mamma naked
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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