I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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