bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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