so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
