Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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