she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
