I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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