So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
