elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
