Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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