You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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