It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
