Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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