Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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