Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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