We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
