well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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