My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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