I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
