OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
