Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
