anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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