I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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