SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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