so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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