Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He kissed a someone with a penis
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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