i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
this is an emotional support booty call
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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