i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
