OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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