I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
