I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
