More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
