need another drink. this is the easiest way
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
