Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
