how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
