ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
