pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
