I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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