so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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